His Realisation- old version
by McGemcity
Summary: Tim McGee knows what he wants, but he can never have it... at least that's what he thinks. Unfortunately things have to get a whole lot worse before he comes to his second realisation. McNozzo Note: This version is incomplete and discontinued.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys I promised you McNozzo and here it is! Sorry it's a higher rating but this idea just popped into my head as I was reading another fic. I've gone with an M rating, and I'm pretty sure it's correct, but I'm still getting used to the system. I will write a lower rating McNozzo fic, (actually chapter 1 is already in the works) very soon though, so if this one isn't for you, don't worry the other will be really different.**

**Warnings: This fic will contain a pretty detailed description of a sexual assault, and will contain a slash pairing/relationship (McNozzo). If that's a problem for you please do not read. There will also be swearing, and will probably be spoilers for episodes at some point in the story. **

**Disclaimer: "I do own NCIS" ... were the words I said in a dream once before I woke in the real world where they aren't true **

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><p>He was looking at her, waiting for her to say <em>something<em>. He was getting nervous, she hadn't said anything, just stared at him wide eyed, her mouth frozen in a silent "O". He briefly wondered if he had made a mistake in telling her but he didn't know who else to go to, and he needed to talk. She shook her head as a beaming smile spread across her face.

"Are you serious!" she squealed, jumping up and down clapping her hands together. He sighed, how could she be so happy about this, couldn't she see how much misery this was going to cause him?

"Yeah Abby, I'm serious I told you..."

"Yeah Tim I know" she interrupted him, "You told me you were bi ages ago, and I'm cool with it, a load of the best, nicest people are gay and bi, although some of them are murderers, not that all gay people are murderers, I mean look at you, and loads of murderers aren't gay..."

He could see her going off on a tangent, and while usually he had the time to indulge her if they weren't working a case, this time he needed her to stay on topic,

"Abby!"

"Sorry McGee" she gave him an apologetic look before her enthusiasm was back full force, "but come on Tony! The two of you would be so cute together! I can't believe you have a crush on Tony! Why wouldn't you tell me about this before? How long has this been going on?"

He sighed again,

"Not long... But I don't think you understand what I need help with Abbs." She looked at him puzzled.

"Of course I do, you want me to help the two of you get together! I have sooo many ways we could do this! ... Please tell me your fitness phase has given you some hot muscle tone under those shapeless clothes, that would make things even easier, and be really, _really hot_! I mean you were attractive before McGee, but add some nice definition in there and wow!"

"Abby!" She stopped in the little twirl she had been doing around her lab tables, turning round to face him had on, noticing the sad resigned look on his face as he stared down at his feet.

"I... I don't need your help to get together with him... " He looked directly into her eyes at this point. "I need your help to get over him" Her smile dropped off her face.

"But ... why? Like I said Tim, it would be easy enough! Look at you!" It amazed her how he couldn't see what a great person he was, how lucky anyone would be to have him. She knew that was partly her fault, and regretted she had had some part in adding to his whole self doubting mind set, and she attempted to continue her persuasion.

"Come on McGee! Tony loves hanging out with you! We just need to change it from friendly and brotherly to dates is all! It wouldn't be that hard of a leap, loads of people compare you guys to a married couple, I mean Ziva's said so twice at least ! And you've had loads of people that mistake you for dating!" He shook his head and ran his hands through his hair.

"He laughs every time that happens Abbs. He thinks the idea of us being like that is hilarious... even if he did swing that way there's no way he'd go for me." He was so busy trying to get out the feelings he had been carrying round since his realisation, he missed the debate on her face, as if she were about to say something but then stopped herself, and simply listened to what he said.

"I need... I need to just stop feeling this way about him... I can't act on it... ever... I can't ruin what we have Abbs... I just can't... so I need it to go away before I decide I should and ruin everything." He dropped down on the chair behind the desk, his head hanging low, before he looked back up at her,

"I just need it to go away."

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><p>He sighed as he remembered the events that had led him here. Abby had tried to persuade him to go for it, but he had insisted it wouldn't happen. Yes he and Tony were close, but in a friendly brotherly kind of way, it wasn't romantic, and there was no way Tony thought of him in that way. He valued the closeness he and Tony had built up over time, and there was no way he was losing that because of this, no matter how much he wanted it. The simplest solution was to never tell Tony how he felt, and just wait until he got over it, Tony would never have to know and he wouldn't have to suffer the pain of pushing one of the most important people in his life away because of a stupid crush.<p>

He sighed again. He knew he was deluding himself there; whatever was going on was more than a crush. It had been building up for a while, small things Tony did or said would catch his attention more than usual, and he found himself aware of where Tony was and what he was doing without even consciously watching him, it was like he had suddenly become hyperaware of Tony's presence.

He hadn't realised what was happening at first, but when he had he had panicked. He had tried to deal with it on his own, and had, for about a week. Then the dreams had arrived. They weren't explicit, they were just ...nice. Him and Tony out on a date, Tony taking his face in his hands and gently leaning in, covering his lips with his own and... he stopped himself right there. The point of tonight was to get things like this out of his head.

Abby had eventually, reluctantly agreed to help him, and after expressly telling him there was no way he was allowed to run off to Mexico to avoid his problems, had tried to think of a way she could help him get over Tony. He thought she still held hope he would try and act on his feelings, but there was no way, he would rather have Tony in his life in some form, than lose him completely. He had thought about this a lot, and knew this was his best option.

And so she had set him up...on a blind date. At first he had been suspicious, but she assured him it wasn't Tony. It was a guy though. She had made the valid point that his "crush" on Tony may be a result of him sticking to women since he joined NCIS, and that maybe he just needed to start dating guys again to move past this. Silently he had known his attraction to Tony was more than just him wanting to date guys again, but had agreed to her plan, it couldn't hurt to try it.

The date had been a disaster so far though. The guy wasn't really that interesting, there was no spark, he couldn't see himself talking to this guy on another date, and he could barely imagine making it through the rest of this one. The man was good looking, there was no denying that, and he had noticed that he was completely different in appearance from Tony. This guy was taller, more muscular and well built, with relatively long sandy blonde hair, that hung over his deep blue eyes. He was the kind of guy he could imagine girls fawning over, and they had, the waitress was practically drooling.

He couldn't help comparing though, and found he infinitely preferred Tony, not just in appearance but well in... Aura? He knew that sounded stupid... but there was just something...off... about this guy. He didn't seem to be remotely interested in Tim... well he was... but... physically rather than anything else. At first he had passed it off as awkwardness at the beginning of a date, the guy not wanting to pry and seem to be intruding. Then... the touching had started. He had wrapped his arm round Tim's back as he guided him into the restaurant, made sure their hands brushed at every opportunity. He had been resting his hand on Tim's thigh as they were eating, brushing it up and down his leg, until Tim had tried to subtly move away. There had been a flash of... something ... in his eyes and then it was gone... Tim's uneasy feeling wasn't.

He had felt relieved, therefore, when the guy, Daniel, he corrected himself, (they were on a date, it felt wrong keeping referring to him as 'the guy'), had gone outside to answer a phone call. He had taken the time to text Abby, asking her why she had set him up with... well someone like Daniel. He was not encouraged by her reply. Apparently all Abby's gay friends were in relationships, so she had set him up with a friend of a friend. The uneasy feeling in Tim's stomach grew, he trusted Abby's judgement, mostly, but if she hadn't picked this guy...

That decided it, when Daniel came back he would apologise, say he had been called away and end this right now. He knew he was probably being paranoid... but this had felt wrong from the moment it started, and he had learned that going with your instincts was often the best thing to do. Besides, Daniel's "hands on" approach was making him uncomfortable, and it would be a relief to get away. He spotted him about to come back inside, and quickly pulled out his phone to fake a call.

"Yeah, I'm busy... It can't wait?... Well someone else could..." He saw Daniel looking at him as he sat down, and offered an uneasy smile, that he hoped looked apologetic, and mouthed "work" at him. Daniel looked... he wasn't sure... and that unnerved him even further.

"No... Ok... I'll be there soon."

He looked back up at his date, attempting to look apologetic,

"Sorry Daniel, but I really have to go..." He moved to stand, and Daniel reached out and grabbed him. He offered Tim a smile as well, but it too looked fake, and slightly... sinister?

"That's alright" he offered, "I'll walk you out." Tim thought about refusing but didn't want to seem rude or suspicious of the guy, after all he had no evidence there was anything wrong, so simply nodded, and continued to leave, pausing while they stopped to pay for their meal at the door.

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><p>For the first time he regretted his restaurant choice. He had chosen a small place, in a little used street, not wanting to be seen by people at work. He wasn't ashamed of his preferences... more like cautious. He was a cop who worked in the navy yard, not the ideal situation to be openly flaunting his sexuality. He knew his team would stand by him no matter what, he just didn't want them to have to try and work around the prejudice of others. He had made sure no one he knew or worked with would see them, and now that was working against him, as he was on a lonely, dark, almost empty street, with a man that was starting to give him the creeps. The situation only got worse as they walked back towards his car, Daniel making sure to keep step with him all the way. The streets became emptier, and the streetlamps further apart, and McGee's sense of unease grew... especially as he saw Daniel keep glancing his way, keeping close beside him.<p>

He did, however, feel reassured that he wasn't defenceless. He was a federal agent, and more importantly, one that worked on Gibbs' team. He had his service weapon strapped to his ankle, his badge hidden in his jacket pocket (he still was careful never to tell people where he worked, and Abby had promised to respect that rule as well), along with a knife concealed in the back of his belt. He felt bad for a split second for thinking that way... right up until Daniel grabbed his arm with a bruising force and dragged him into an alley.

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><p>He had been keeping a close watch though, and his training kicked in instantly. He was immediately on the defensive, twisting his arm violently to escape the grip, swinging his other arm round to land a solid punch to Daniel's jaw. The man staggered backwards overbalanced, and Tim started to reach for the gun and badge, when he noticed a shadow coming up behind him. He moved to defend his back, twisting his body sharply to face the newcomer. Unfortunately he was too slow, and found himself in a vice like grip, pushed up against the cold solid stone of the alley wall, his head knocking against it violently, as his arms were pinned to his sides. He winced as his skull impacted, pain exploding behind his eyes and lancing through his head. He gasped and groaned, unable to focus momentarily.<p>

He was brought sharply back into reality by a laugh coming from right next to his face. He opened his eyes, and saw the silhouette of his attacker, the details obscured by the darkness. The man leaned closer, his breath ghosting up against Tim's face, and Tim cringed, twisting his head away. He tested the man's grip by straining and struggling against it, but he felt no give; his arms remained immobilised. The man laughed again before he pulled back.

"Now, now, don't be like that... we just want to have some fun... right Dan?"

McGee felt his blood run cold as his suspicions and fears were confirmed, before he turned his head and looked at his "date". Daniel was currently prowling towards them, clearly angry at Tim's retaliation. Tim swallowed, but tried not to outwardly show his fear. He knew what they were planning to do... and there was no way he was going to sit back and let it happen. He was going to fight... and fight hard.

He tried to focus his mind concentrating on his training, the location of his weapons, and studying for an opening; flinching and closing his eyes as another touch was added to the one keeping him secure. The hand trailed up the side of his face, and then back down to his collar bone.

He knew it would be no good to call out, they were now in a neighbourhood where everyone followed the "I don't know anything" policy, and avoided the police as much as possible. Even if he had been somewhere else, there was no way he was going to drag an innocent passerby into this. He opened his eyes, determined to help himself, and looked around the alley they were in, deliberately avoiding looking at the man holding him, and at Daniel still trailing his hands over him. He couldn't see anything useful... other than a small security cam pointing almost directly at them.

Although that didn't help him fight them off, it did give him the extra determination to do it. He knew whatever happened Gibbs and the rest of his team would investigate... and there was no way he wanted them to watch that video, wondering how different things would have been if they had trained him better... taught him different things. There was no way he was going to make his team feel that guilty. He knew they would feel responsible somehow, even if it wasn't their fault. Abby would be horrified; she had set him up with the guy. No... There was no way he could do that to them. He had to get out of this and fast.

He forced his mind to stop distancing him from what was happening... he needed to be constantly aware so he could take the first opening that came. He felt himself tremble and shudder in disgust as Daniel's hands moved away from his face and neck, and began trailing over his chest. He attempted, once again, to jerk away, desperate to escape the hands exploring him. He grunted as his head was knocked into the wall again by a punch to the jaw, and as the breath was stolen from him as another landed on his ribcage. His chest received a second impact right after the first, and Tim heard a distinct crack, and felt a sharp pain flare up.

The man in front of him, (who Tim mentally dubbed "Mint", as the guy could really use one), pushed his body up against Tim's, pressing him back fully into the wall. Their chests were touching, and his groin pressed against McGee's. Tim attempted to shift his body... anything to get away, but the man held on tight. Tim attempted to reason with them, all the while concentrating on not missing an opening when it came, and resisting the urge to screw his eyes shut to escape.

"You don't need to do this... Please... just let me go... You don't want to end up in jail..." His speech was halted by Daniel reaching past Mint and punching him in the jaw again, and his head met with the brickwork for the third time. This time he felt blood begin trickling at an alarming rate over his scalp, and his vision blurred.

"Just shut the hell up." Daniel growled, his hands replacing his friend's in restraining Tim, lifting Tim's arms up above his head, pinning his wrists against the wall, before forcing himself against him, like Mint had, dipping his head to lick and bite against Tim's neck. Tim's trembling increased, and he jerked his head sideways, his muscles becoming taunt as he tried to move as far as possible, and clenched his jaw in an attempt to force himself to focus on escape, rather than what was being done to him.

He began to panic as he felt one of Daniel's hands remove itself from his wrists, and stroke down his body again... and the panic only increased as the hand didn't stop at his chest... but rather continued on its journey, moving further down towards the waistline of his pants. He jerked and whimpered closing his eyes as the hand reached its destination, the touch turning into a strong, painful grip. He once again attempted to pull away... but Daniel's grip on his wrists, and his body pressed against him held him firmly in place. He squeezed his eyes even more tightly shut, and attempted to control his breathing as the grip slowly became stronger and more painful, stroking along him.

He felt Daniel press against him even further, his injured ribs protesting the pressure by igniting a fiery pain. He gagged and twisted his head away as he felt Daniel's hot breath ghosting over his cheek, and felt the tears forming in his eyes as the mouth made contact with his skin once again, drifting along his jaw and trailing down his neck.

He didn't know how much longer he could handle this. He felt his body and mind wanting to shut down, to protect him from what was happening, but he fought it. He knew how devastated Abby would be by how far this had already gone, let alone if it went any further... But it was Tony's face that had the most impact. Tony had been the one to train him, to guide him. He would tear himself apart with the guilt that his training hadn't saved Tim. He couldn't stand the thought of the pain Tony would feel over this. He never wanted to hurt Tony. He needed Tony to be Ok... he had to get through this for him... he could work out what his feelings were exactly, that made Tony this important to him, later... now... now he just needed to survive.

With a monumental effort, he once again attempted to ignore Daniel's unwanted attention to his body, only giving in to the occasional whimper and jerk, as the touches became bruising, forceful and more demanding. Glancing around, he saw Mint still standing there, his eyes focused directly on him... waiting for his turn. The thought made Tim shiver and cringe, before he determinedly reminded himself that there was no way it was going to get to a stage when Mint would get a turn.

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><p>It was only a couple of seconds later that it happened. The pressure of Daniel's body against his reduced, and he punched Tim in the chest again, obviously attempting to wind him, so he would be unable to struggle for a moment. Fortunately for Tim, the man had, like many, severely underestimated Tim's fitness level, and ability to cope with pain. As Daniel pulled back even further, reaching towards the zipper on Tim's pants and his own, Tim was not as subdued as he had intended. Tim took advantage of this situation, and swiftly brought his leg up to knee Daniel in the groin.<p>

As he stumbled backward with a surprised grunt of pain, Tim easily slipped past him; using the advantage he had gained with the surprise move, to distance himself from his attacker. Mint moved forwards to grab him, but Tim twisted deftly away, ignoring the pain this caused in his chest as he swivelled his torso. As he backed away, he reached one arm round behind his back, swiftly retrieving the knife from its hiding spot in his belt. He gripped it confidently in his hand, glad he had persuaded Ziva to continue teaching him to use the weapon effectively. Tim saw, with some satisfaction, that Daniel was still doubled over, breathing deeply. He moved all of his focus onto the still able bodied attacker. As Mint came at him a second time, he ducked, once again ignoring the protest his ribs made, before using the lower position to deliver a powerful uppercut to the jaw, and using a small scratch across mint's arm with the knife as a warning. Satisfied with the grunt of pain this elicited, as Mint staggered backwards, instinctively distancing himself from the weapon.

As soon as Mint took a step backward, Tim quickly bent down further and retrieved his gun from his ankle holster, pulling his badge from his pocket as he straightened up. He expertly trained his gun on the two men, taking a few steps backwards so there was no way they would be able to knock it off target or out of his hand. He flipped open his badge, keeping his gun steady, forcing his body to stand firm and not resume the trembling.

"Federal Agent, slowly drop to your knees or I will drop you." He was proud that his voice remained steady, as he flicked his gaze between the two men, watching for any sudden movements. He felt another grim sense of satisfaction as he saw them staring wide eyed at the badge, momentarily refusing to accept the reality in front of them. Mint recovered first, his face taking on a look of fury.

"He's a fucking cop, Dan you idiot!"

"Correction," McGee said, wondering how he was remaining this calm, "I'm the cop you just sexually assaulted, who is currently pointing his gun at you and telling you to _get on your knees_!"

He watched as they slowly lowered down, hands raised above their heads. He almost felt like rolling his eyes at how people were always surprised at his profession, it wasn't that unbelievable. He briefly wondered how he was finding any humour in this situation, before he reasoned he was probably going into shock. He needed help now, before he crashed hard. He focused on bringing back the cocky cop persona, using Tony's attitude as a basic guideline. He was about to trade his badge for his phone still in his pocket, when Daniel spoke.

"So what cop, you gonna shoot us?" He still looked defiant and unafraid, despite the fact a guy he was moments ago attempting to rape was now pointing a gun at him.

"No I'm not going to shoot you" he saw them relax slightly, and was slightly appeased that they were, at least a little wary of him. A grin came onto his face as a thought popped into his head, and he again was worried by the calm and humour he was able to feel.

"Although, you may wish I had." He said with menace... what he had planned was much worse than a bullet.

"What you gonna do to us?" Mint asked arrogantly, the defiance still plain on his face. Tim felt momentary exasperation, why did no one see him as a threat? Especially with the revenge he had just planned.

Tim let out a weak grin as he felt his muscles weakening as the adrenaline began to wear off, the reality of what had almost happened beginning to sink in.

"I'm going to call my Boss."

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><p><strong>Ohhh Tim is eeeeevil! Seriously though, I didn't think Tim would be the kind of person to beat up the guys. As soon as he was out of danger he would go by the book, and not stoop to their level. Granted he might act differently if the guys had assaulted a member of his team, but I don't think if it was him he would be able to justify it to himself. Feel free to tell me if you disagree with this assessment, I would love to hear what people think. <strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey sorry it took a while. On the up side I now have a vague idea of where the story is going, rather than simply making it up as I go along, so updates may become quicker than this.**

**Disclaimer: "I do own NCIS"...Where the words I said in a dream once before I woke in the real world where they aren't true.**

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><p>They stared up at him waiting as if they were expecting him to say something else. When it was apparent that was the extent of his plans their smirks grew, and Mint full out laughed.<p>

"That's it cop? _Call your Boss_?" Tim remained unfazed by the sneers of derision... they would find out soon enough just how effective punishment this was. He looked forward to that moment.

Instead of voicing his opinion, he let them think he was going easy on them, continuing the confident persona, even as he could feel his muscles begin to quiver with the exertion of just standing there.

"Yeah, that's it... You may be willing to ruin the rest of your lives, but I'm not that much of an idiot." They full on glared at him,

"You insulting us cop?" snarled Daniel, speaking for the first time, apparently overcoming his shock at Tim's career and the kick.

"I think it was more a statement of fact." He replied, they glared harder, but didn't say anything.

Tim kept his eyes trained on them as he reached into his pocket, dropping his badge there, and picking up his phone. He drew it out and stopped for a moment. He was only slightly hesitant about calling his team. He knew they would accept him once they found out, he just wasn't sure how they would react to not being told until well... something like this happened.

He needed them soon though, and didn't want to have to explain after they arrived. That left him only one option... to come straight out with it over the phone. While it wasn't his favourite plan, he was out of options.

Without even looking, he unlocked the phone; he briefly had an overwhelming desire to call Tony for backup. He was about to press the first speed dial, when he realised that was the emotional part of him looking for support and comfort, rather than the cop calling for his team. The cop part should be in charge right now he reasoned, and the cop part would call his boss and allow him to call the team. Once again he pushed the emotions regarding Tony to the back, to be worked out and dealt with later, and shifted his finger so he pressed the second speed dial instead, sticking to his original plan.

He brought it to his ear and listened to it ring.

When it wasn't answered immediately, he briefly considered hanging up and calling Tony, and part of his brain cheered at the thought of hearing his voice when he needed reassurance.

"_Gibbs_." It took him a moment to respond to the gruff tone, and he could hear Gibbs' impatience building when he spoke again, obviously having checked the caller ID,

"_There a reason you're calling me, McGee?"_

Gaze still fixed on the two men in front of him; he forced himself to begin talking.

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><p>The office was quiet. Most teams had gone home hours ago.<p>

Gibbs' team was not most teams. Although McGee had left, claiming he had plans, the others remained, finishing their paperwork from the previous case, Ziva and Tony working at their desks while Gibbs hovered around somewhere.

"Why is it McGoogle gets to go, and we're stuck here?" Tony whined to Ziva, leaning back in his chair, raising his arms above his head, and interlocking his fingers as he stretched. Ziva opened her mouth to reply when Gibbs walked into the bullpen.

"Maybe because his report was on my desk hours ago DiNozzo?" he commented, moving to sit behind his own desk.

"His _completed_ report"

Tony quickly straightened up and leaned forward again,

"Yes Boss, of course Boss... will be done soon Boss." He began typing at his computer again; while Ziva also ducked her head to hide her amusement.

The team remained silent, apart from the clacking of the keyboards, until Gibbs' phone rang. Tony and Ziva looked at each other, both hoping it wasn't another call out, before they looked around to watch Gibbs.

Gibbs took the phone out of his pocket, not glancing at the display before he flipped it open, and brought it up to his ear,

"Gibbs" There was silence on the other end of the call, and Gibbs felt frustrated. Glancing down he looked at the ID, and a small knot of worry began to build. Out of all his agents this one was the least likely to call him late at night.

"There a reason you're calling me, McGee?"

He saw the other two members of his team stiffen in shock at the name, glancing at each other in worry. He heard a deep breath on the other end of the call, as if Tim was preparing himself to say something. He listened as his agent finally began to talk,

"_Uh, yeah Boss... you still at the office?"_ Frowning at the question Gibbs replied,

"Yeah McGee, you need something?"

"_Are Tony and Ziva with you?"_ Glancing up at the, two he saw them desperately straining to hear the conversation,

"Yeah McGee they're here."

"_... Can you put me on speaker?"_ Frowning even further, Gibbs glanced at the two agents again, gesturing them over, feeling a brief flash of amusement as they both sprang to their feet and moved quickly in front of his desk.

"Yeah McGee, hang on a moment." He took the phone away from his ear, and ignoring the worried, and questioning looks from his team, as he placed the phone on his desk, pressing the button to put it on speaker.

"Done McGee, now what's the problem?" There was a pause, and they all looked at each other, before returning their attention to the phone as Tim's voice came through.

"_Well, I was out on a blind date with a... guy Abby set me up with..."_ They froze for a moment, picking up on Tim's wording and the slight hesitance.

Ziva grinned at Tony

"You owe me twenty bucks Tony!"

Tony groaned,

"You couldn't have waited a month to tell us McBiCurious? Ziva's time frame was almost up!"

Gibbs shook his head slightly, but frowned again when he considered why this could be a problem. There was a pause on the phone, and the other two also realised they still hadn't got to the reason Tim had called.

"_You had bets on how long before I told you?"_ There was the sound of relief, but they could hear that he had been counting on this reaction, on their acceptance.

"Never mind that McProbalicious, what did you need?" They all leaned in closer listening intently for the answer.

"_I need back up, I don't have handcuffs on me and I need to make two arrests."_ Ziva moved round to Gibbs' computer, as he shifted out of the way, allowing her to trace Tim's location whilst listening to the rest of the explanation.

"You witness a crime on your date Probie?" Tony prompted, when Tim didn't seem to be talking.

"_...Something like that, I ..."_ Tim cut off, and Tony was about to ask again, when they all tensed at the words that came over the phone, obviously no longer talking to them,

"_I told you to stay on your knees and keep still! I will shoot you if you move again, understand me?"_

Ziva willed the search to go faster, jumping up as soon as the computer produced an address. Gibbs and Tony began to move too, picking up the phone, grabbing guns and badges, heading towards the elevator.

They could hear someone, presumably the suspects, talking to Tim in the background, but couldn't make out the words. Tim's part of the conversation however came through clearly, and they listened as they boarded the elevator, and rode down towards the parking garage.

They listened with worry as Tim continued to talk to the suspects, obviously they weren't afraid of him and that was bad. If there were two of them Tim probably wouldn't have been able to search them for weapons. They knew this, and it caused them to run towards the car.

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><p>Tim was wondering how to say what he had to, when he saw Mint shifting, beginning to rise out of his kneeling position. Encouraged by the conviction his team would soon be on their way, he found it easier to keep his voice even and clear,<p>

"I told you to stay on your knees and keep still! I will shoot you if you move again, understand me?"

Mint slowly returned to his position,

"Chill cop alright? I was only stretching."

"Yeah, he wasn't trying anything... now" Dan added, smirking. Ignoring the reference to his assault Tim maintained his confidence.

"I don't care if he was trying something or not, I'm the Federal agent pointing a gun at him, whose team is on the way to arrest him, and I am telling you both that you stay on your knees! Clear?"

"Arrest us for what _Timothy_?" Daniel grinned wickedly, putting on a shocked, innocent expression,

"We were having a lovely date, I'm sorry if there was any misunderstanding, can we put it behind us?" Daniel and Mint grinned; obviously convinced he had nothing on them.

Tim felt his anger boil, he hated men that thought they could get away with what they'd done, but he remained calm on the outside, battling the tremors that were sure to come, grinning slightly himself when he remembered something.

"I have all the evidence I need to bring you in, so don't start that innocence crap. The concussion I probably have, along with the cracked, if not broken ribs, as well as the facial bruising? Definite evidence of assault on a federal agent, don't you think so?"

He heard muttered curses, both in English and Hebrew coming from the phone after he said this, followed by the distinct roar of an engine, and the squealing of tires. His team was on the way.

He saw their confidence waver slightly, as they seemed to remember the injuries he had sustained, before Mint's sneer returned. Daniel's followed soon after, as he listened to what his friend had to say,

"So what? You can't prove that was us, and if we're charged, what's that a fine? A couple of years of time?"

"Maybe for that..." he conceded, and they grinned again. "But" he continued "I'm almost positive I have enough evidence to bring you in on further charges."

"Like what?" Mint gloated, "The big bad cop gonna tell his friends what we did? We'll tell them you liked it... begged for it... We'll tell the whole court room... you want everyone knowing that huh cop... Gay cops don't fare too well do they Dan? You want to be outed? Coz a court case will mean everyone will know why you were out with Dan in the first place and we'll tell them... in graphic detail."

Tim took a deep breath, pushing his anger down. He knew what Mint had just described was the main reason most victims of rape didn't come forward... sometimes even more so for male rape. He also knew most cops would be afraid in this situation. He however, had not been raped, and knew his team. They wouldn't think any less of him no matter if it had gone further, and would probably punch the living daylights out of anyone who did, or who treated him badly because of his sexuality. This knowledge gave him the confidence to continue.

"You can try and tell that story if you want... but when I show the court the security tape from up there," he nodded his head towards the camera he had noticed earlier, "Whose testimony will be backed up beyond reasonable doubt?" He grinned as he saw them look in the direction he indicated, eyes widening and faces paling as they picked out the little device.

Tim was about to make a comment, when he heard the roar of an engine as a car sped down the street. He felt relieved that his team would soon be there, his trembling muscles, pounding head and burning ribs made themselves known, as the adrenaline he had been surviving on continued to slip away, the pain coming to the front of his concentration.

He kept his body locked in place, his gun trained on the two men kneeling in front of him, even as he heard the car screeching to a halt just behind him, the doors swinging open, and the three sets of footsteps running towards him.

Within moments someone was standing right beside him. Glancing to the side, he saw Tony standing there, gun already pointing at the two men on the ground, and he felt a rush of relief and warmth flow through him. Gibbs and Ziva circled round, coming to stand behind the two men, guns also drawn and aimed.

Now the men looked scared. He couldn't blame them. His team were shooting murderous glances at the two. Gibbs glanced up at him, looking him in the eyes,

" McGee?" He asked, making his meaning clear without elaborating. Ziva's gaze didn't shift from the men in front of her but she tensed waiting for the answer. He saw Tony looking his way, turning his head slightly towards him.

"I'll be fine" Gibbs scrutinised him, clearly not buying it, but nodded and returned his attention to the men on the ground, drawing a pair of handcuffs from his pocket, Ziva copying the movement.

They both glanced at McGee, and he took that as his cue. Taking a deep breath he looked right into the eyes of the men in front of him,

"You are under arrest, for the assault..." he paused for a moment, hating what his team were about to hear, before he continued, "...sexual assault and attempted rape of a federal agent."

* * *

><p>Time seemed to stand still for a moment, before the reactions set in. Gibbs audibly growled, stepping close to Daniel and basically lifting him onto his feet, Ziva once again mirroring his movements, adding a string of Hebrew, which, even if they didn't have subtitles, could not be mistaken for anything but a threat.<p>

Both agents slammed the men they were holding into the alley wall with a thud, before violently twisting their arms behind their backs, and snapping on the cuffs. Tim received a vague sense of satisfaction as he heard them protest, and grunt at the tightness of the cuffs.

"This is police brutality!" Daniel complained.

Gibbs growled, slamming him further up against the wall, eliciting another grunt of pain, before he turned to Ziva, raising an eyebrow,

"This seem like police brutality to you?" She smiled dangerously at him,

"Not at all Gibbs, I consider it _extremely necessary_ force." She shoved Mint further into the wall as well, making him grunt as his face brushed the brickwork, moving her head to whisper in his ear,

"And once I hear the full story I am sure more will be necessary, yes?" She spun him back around to look at her, and he gulped when he saw the dangerous glint in her eyes.

* * *

><p>Tim slowly lowered his weapon as he saw Gibbs and Ziva taking control of the situation. His body began to shake violently now, the muscles he had been holding taunt and rigid, giving out. He could feel his own sudden fragility, as if he were about to break. The fear, the shock and the pain he had been holding at bay all assaulted him at once. He needed to sit down... sleep... he felt exhausted.<p>

He turned to Tony, he needed help, now. About to speak, he froze when he saw Tony's position. His eyes were narrowed and his glare was icy, rivalling Gibbs and Ziva's in its ferocity. His gun was lowered slightly, but he held it so tightly Tim could see the white knuckles, see the trigger finger flexing as if it was taking all Tony's self control not to fire.

Putting his own needs on hold he focused on Tony. He would not let him ruin his career by shooting a suspect. Tony loved this job, Tim knew that. He saw the way Tony's eyes would positively glow, the satisfaction he felt when they closed a case, rescued a victim. Tony lived for this. It was a part of him. Tim would not let him loose it all, especially not because of him. He couldn't see Tony hurt himself like that he... cared about him too much.

He wanted to laugh at that thought. Wasn't that the whole problem? He cared too much about Tony DiNozzo. He felt that undefined something in the pit of his stomach whenever he looked at him, heard him laugh, watched the sparkle in his eyes. The ease he felt as they bantered, the sense of... rightness... as if he had found his place in the world.

He realised he was going off on a tangent again, not focusing. But he was focusing ... on Tony. Tony... he needed to stop Tony.

Focused again, pushing away the confusion, he stepped so he was in front of Tony, deliberately placing his body between Tony and the arrest. Ignoring the voices he could hear behind him, (as Gibbs nearly barked out the rights of the men... while Ziva muttered about them not deserving any), he gently reached out and placed his hand on Tony's gun, looking him in the eyes as he did so.

Seeming to snap out of whatever fury fuelled trance he'd been in, Tony's eyes snapped to McGee's, while releasing his grip on the gun, allowing Tim to pull it away from him.

Still staring him straight in the eyes, Tim spoke clearly, carefully stressing each word,

"They're not worth it, you understand me? They. Are. Not. Worth. It." His eyes searched Tony's, and he relaxed as Tony nodded.

"They may be scum, but they are not worth ruining your life over okay?" Tony nodded again, looking over Tim's shoulder towards Gibbs and Ziva.

"Doesn't mean I still don't want to shoot them for... for what they did..."

"Tried to do Tony... I stopped them okay?" He made Tony look at him again, and smiled weakly at him, briefly wondering what it was about Tony that meant he could make him smile even after what he'd just been through.

Now it was clear Tony wasn't going to do anything stupid, Tim felt his body demanding attention again, and winced at the onslaught of pain. The tremors wracked through his body, causing him to shake and tremble violently.

Tony's eyes locked onto him, widening as they took in the pain lines, and shaking.

"Damn... sorry Tim... we need to get you sitting down..." He reached out as if to touch Tim, and support him, before he froze, glancing again at the two, now cuffed, men.

Tim knew what was going through Tony's head. Every law enforcement officer had it drilled into them not to touch a victim of an assault like he had just experienced, knowing the common reaction was panic and flashbacks. He didn't feel like that would happen. In fact he felt like he _wanted_ Tony to touch him, wanted the reassurance and strength from that contact, the warmth and the, as of yet, undefined emotion he now felt when Tony was around him.

Tony was still frozen with indecision; so Tim decided for him,

"I think I might need some help to walk" he admitted sheepishly, "You mind?"

Tony looked right at him then, looking shocked for a moment before he nodded,

"Sure Probie, no problem." Tim smiled at the use of the nickname, and pretended not to notice how Tony hesitated slightly before touching him, and tensed as if waiting for a reaction when he did.

Tim did react, but not the way Tony was expecting; he didn't flinch or panic. He leaned into the support of the arm around his waist, and lifted his own arm around Tony's shoulders. Tony went to move them towards the car, when Daniel called out,

"Careful where you put your hands, he doesn't like being touched _intimately, _makes him whimper and cry."

Tim felt Tony tense and glancing upwards, saw the look of fury returning to his face, as he obviously realised some of what had happened from the wording. Glancing upwards he saw the murderous expressions on Gibbs and Ziva's faces as realisation hit them too. It had been one thing to hear Tim call it a sexual assault, but they hadn't known how far it had gone.

A feral snarl seemed to erupt from all three at once, Gibbs, being the one holding Daniel, slammed him into the wall again.

"You want to repeat that?" he growled, moving his face so it was threateningly close to the other man's looking him right in the eye. When Daniel remained silent Gibbs pulled back,

"If either of you," he glanced between the two men, Mint being held in a ferociously tight grip by Ziva, "So much as _look _at my agent without my permission, I will make sure you regret it for the rest of, what will become, a really short life, am I understood?"

Tim felt Tony nodding in agreement beside him, and watched as Ziva punched Mint as he glanced towards McGee,

"What did he just say?" she snapped. Mint winced as the pain of the shot registered. Still not seeming to get how serious his situation was he grinned,

"We already did way more than look, ain't that right cop?" Ziva snarled, slamming him into the wall once again,

"You are walking on _very _thin ice" she hissed, "And I promise you, if you cross that line one more time... I will regret _nothing_ I do"

The three agents' heads whipped round, as well as the two men's, as they all heard a small, shaky laugh. Looking incredulously at McGee, the source of the laughter, they listened as he talked, his words clear despite the trembling,

"Told you" he said to the two guys,

"Probie?" Tony questioned,

"They were afraid I'd shoot them out of vengeance... I told them I had something worse in mind." He looked directly at Gibbs, who had quirked an eyebrow at him, he shrugged slightly, wincing as his ribs pulled.

"I told them I would call my Boss... that they would probably prefer the bullet."

Gibbs and Ziva's eyes narrowed as they spotted the wince. Gibbs' fury evident on his face as he stared coldly at the two men, growling out,

"No probably about it"


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey, so this is the next chapter. There are spoilers for old episodes in here, but to be honest everyone's probably seen these by now, more than once! Anyway I keep getting ideas for what I want to include in this, and it's probably going to be quite long! The McNozzo romance is going to be quite slow building, so be patient it will come!**

**There is some discussion in here of medical issues, but I'm not a doctor, nor do I have any plans to become one, so it may not be accurate, I have tried to make it sound realistic though.**

**Disclaimer: "I do own NCIS"... were the words I said in a dream once, before I woke in the real world where they aren't true.**

* * *

><p>Tim could feel the trembling getting worse, and he leaned more and more heavily on Tony, pressing the uninjured side of his chest up against him, while fire seemed to rage across the other.<p>

He was finding it harder to focus; his vision had begun swimming in and out, blurring. His legs almost seemed to fold underneath him, and it was only Tony quickly taking all of his weight that prevented his face from meeting the alley floor.

"Easy Tim I've got you"

Tim smiled shakily, "Thanks Tony."

"Any time Tim... not that you should make this a regular thing..." Tim chuckled lightly,

"Don't worry... hadn't planned to."

"Good... now then, where's your car?" Tim struggled to lift his head, seeing the problem. Two agents would have to take the two men back to the yard, which meant they would need his car to transport everyone.

"Umm... just a little way down the street, we were walking towards it when..." He trailed off as the memory flashed up,

_Being forced into the alley...swinging a punch... shadow behind him..._

He pushed them away, focusing back on the now, on Tony... Tony's arm around his waist... eerily similar to one of the dreams he had had... He pushed that thought away as well. He didn't need that either right now.

"You okay Tim?" He could hear the concern, and saw it in Tony's eyes as well as he looked at him. He told a half truth,

"Uh... yeah... sorry ... flashback" he murmured in reply. Tony's jaw clenched and he nodded, before looking into Tim's eyes again,

"You have _nothing_ to be sorry about Probie" He shot glares at the two men Ziva and Gibbs were shoving roughly towards the car.

"Them on the other hand..."

Both Tony and Tim gave small smiles as they watched Gibbs shove Daniel roughly in the back, causing him to fall, grunting at the impact. Gibbs simply growled at him, before dragging him back onto his feet and shoving him towards the car again, Ziva giving Mint a similar treatment.

"Although Gibbs and Ziva seem to have that covered..."

Tim nodded in agreement, watching with further satisfaction as Ziva and Gibbs glanced at each other over the top of the car, before both shoving the suspects in, ignoring any grunts of pain they gave as both their skulls somehow impacted on the roof.

"You make any move, any at all" Gibbs warned, "And she will shoot you, you got that?" The men nodded and Gibbs slammed the door shut so hard the men jumped, cringing when Ziva repeated the action on the other side. He looked at Ziva, showing her he meant what he said and waiting until she smirked and nodded, fingering her holstered gun, before he turned and walked over to where McGee was just barley standing, leaning against Tony. He looked at him and asked,

"Hospital or Ducky McGee?"

Tim thought about it and sighed. He would like Ducky to do it, the thought of a stranger touching him right now was terrifying. He trusted Tony implicitly, and so welcomed his touch, Ducky would be almost as easy, but a doctor he'd never met?

On the other hand they needed an air tight case, and that meant his injuries had to be assessed and documented at a hospital.

"Hospital Boss" Gibbs and Tony frowned at him,

"You sure Tim? I'm sure Ducky wouldn't mind."

Tim sighed again,

"I'd prefer Ducky... but we need an air tight case... that means hospital..." Gibbs nodded in understanding, but Tony was still concerned,

"You sure you'll be okay with that Tim?" He asked gently. Tim looked sideways and saw the worry on his face, even through his swimming vision.

"I..." he trailed off as a thought occurred to him. He blamed his head wound and the shock for this simple solution to his problem eluding him for this long.

"I need my phone."

Tony and Gibbs glanced at each other as McGee clumsily drew the device from his pocket, grasping it in his trembling fingers. Without looking at them he pressed one of his speed dials and hit the call button. He winced as his ribs flared when he raised his arm.

"Tim?" Tony questioned, worried after seeing the pained expression.

"Just need to make a phone call..." he trailed of as the person on the other end picked up.

"_Hey Tim how are you?"_ He looked up at Gibbs as he answered, seeing his eyebrow raised in question,

"Uh... I've been better... that's kind of why I'm calling"

"_Tim?"_

"Would you mind meeting me at Bethesda? I... I need a doctor I know to check me out."

"_Sure, I'm already here, my shift's just about to end, I'll just hang around a bit longer... What's wrong exactly?"_

Tim bit his lip, wondering if he should do this over the phone,

"I was... I was assaulted." He decided to stick with that for the moment, he could elaborate when he got there.

There was a pause on the other end,

"_How bad?" _

"Uh... Ribs... Head... couple of punches" Another pause, he saw Gibbs clenching his fists and felt Tony tensing as they were reminded of the injuries.

"_Get here as soon as you can. I'll have an exam room ready, just ask at the desk."_

He sighed in relief, before he thought of something else,

"Will you be okay to document what you find and to testify? We might need it in court."

There was another pause,

"_No problem...Is there something you're not telling me?"_

He sighed again,

"Can... Can I just explain when I get there?"

"_Sure Tim... I'll be waiting."_

His sigh was of relief this time,

"Thanks Brad, you're a lifesaver."

He could almost hear the smirk on the other end at the wording,

"_It's in the job description, just ask Tony."_ Tim glanced sideways where Tony was looking at him questioningly.

"Don't need to... I don't think I could ever forget"

"_Yeah, I know... see you when you get here?"_

"Yeah... Thanks." He hung up then, placing the phone back in his pocket, preparing to face the questions.

He raised his head and Gibbs simply looked at him with his eyebrow raised, Tony on the other hand began asking almost immediately,

"Was that..." Tim nodded,

"Yeah, Dr. Pitt, he's getting an exam room, just ask at the desk when we go in... I want a doctor I at least know."

"Obviously... he's even on your speed dial?"

For a moment Tim thought Tony sounded... jealous? He brushed it off, he was imagining things. He did however sneak a glance at Tony's face, it was blank, he had defiantly imagined it... wishful thinking.

"Yeah he is Tony... we meet up every once in a while..." He trailed off as his legs gave out again. Tony quickly took all of his weight once more.

"Explain later McGee... Tony, take him to the hospital" Gibbs ordered, "Call me when you're done."

Tony nodded and Tim felt relieved. He wouldn't have said anything, but he wanted Tony to come with him. His reassuring presence was grounding him, focusing him on the now and not allowing his mind to be pulled back.

Gibbs walked back to the car. Tim saw him about to duck into the driver's seat before he glanced at the men in the back. He straightened up and tossed the keys over the roof to Ziva, who gave a sinister looking smirk as she came around the car and slipped in behind the wheel. The car roared as the engine revved, the tires squealing as it shot backwards out of the alley, before performing a tight turn in the middle of the road.

Tim heard Tony give a short laugh next to him, and couldn't help but agree; Gibbs really did want these men to fear for their lives, he doubted they would be taking the most direct route to the navy yard.

* * *

><p>"Tim? How far away is the car?" Tony's voice was soft and reassuring next to him.<p>

Tim tried to think back,

"Uh... not far... just round the corner."

Tony nodded, walking slowly forwards at a pace Tim could manage without wincing.

"So... Brad?" Tony asked. His tone was indifferent, maybe mildly curious but Tim couldn't detect anything beyond that. Definitely wishful thinking.

He shrugged slightly, wincing as his body once again reminded him that was a bad idea. He was tired, and it was effort to talk, walk and breathe normally at once.

"We kept in contact...Can... we do... this later... in the...car?" He panted. The fire in his ribs was building, and flared every time he took a breath, making talking difficult.

"Damn... sorry Tim... of course." Tony sounded chagrined, and Tim was quick to reassure him,

"Not... your...fault."

Tony turned his head towards him slightly, looking worried at the increasing hesitancy in his speech as well as the harsh breathing.

"How about we make a deal? No more talking 'til we reach the car okay?" Tim smiled slightly in return,

"Deal."

* * *

><p>It wasn't long until the silver Porsche came in sight. Tim's breathing had calmed down considerably.<p>

"Need your keys Tim." Tony prodded. Tim reached a shaking hand into his pocket and produced the keys, handing them over.

"Just... just don't drive like Gibbs or Ziva?"

Tony gave a strained laugh as he unlocked the car, opening the passenger door and supporting Tim as he slid into the seat. He quickly walked round to the driver's side and slipped in.

"I'll tell them you said that." He warned as he started the engine.

Tim smiled, before he yelped and jerked his head forward as it made contact with the headrest. The car engine stopped abruptly and Tony let out a worried,

"Tim?"

Tim's vision swam as his head protested the pressure he had unthinkingly put against the wound. He realised Tony was waiting for an answer,

"Shouldn't have leaned back..." he trailed off. Tony's jaw went tighter with worry and he leaned towards him.

"Let me take a look."

Tim obliged and leaned forward in the seat, giving Tony easy access to the back of his head. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Tony hesitate again before he touched him, but just like before he didn't react; apart from to relax under the gentle touch as Tony supported his forehead and placed another hand on the back of his neck, obviously not wanting to touch the wounded area.

He heard Tony draw in a sharp breath, before the hands disappeared and he heard the rustling of fabric. Looking up he saw Tony taking off his tie and glancing his way,

"Why didn't you tell me the head wound was bleeding?" he admonished, reaching towards him again with the wadded up tie.

Tim thought back and remembered he had felt blood at one point, but had forgotten about it until now.

"Forgot" he answered simply, wincing slightly as Tony pressed the tie to the back of his head.

"Sorry Tim." Tony apologised, "But we need to stop the bleeding... you think you can hold this on while I drive? The sooner we get you to the hospital the better."

"Sure." Tim reached up his hand, from the uninjured side to take over from Tony, straightening as Tony started the engine again.

It was silent for a few moments as Tony started driving, before he asked again,

"Sooo... you have Brad on speed dial?" Tim smirked slightly.

" Yeah... I have both of you on there, your point" He saw Tony glance at him before he returned his attention to the road.

"But I work with you, that's business." Tony stated.

"You're my friend as well Tony", he pointed out.

Tony looked at him again, and Tim wondered what the point of this was... Tony couldn't possibly...could he? No, he told himself firmly. Abby may have thought he had a chance, but there was no way Tony would ever think of him like that... and he was perfectly straight.

"So... is Brad a friend then?" Tim thought about how to answer.

"He... he's like you... a bit of both."

He saw Tony raise his eyebrows and knew what he was thinking.

"You want me to explain?" he guessed.

Tony nodded.

"Yeah... unless you want to talk about..."

"No... not yet..." he cut in. He wanted time to process it himself first.

He knew he would have to give a statement to someone on the team, but he would rather put that off for now. He also didn't know how to ask for Tony to be the one to do it, or at least be with him when he did. He felt comfortable with Tony right now and giving a statement would be easier with that sense of security.

Tony nodded,

"Sure thing... so how does Brad merit a place on speed dial... he's not higher than me is he?"

Tim couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of him and he smiled gratefully at Tony for his attempt to lighten the situation. Continuing in the playful mood he replied,

"Well he is number 7..." Tony looked at him in mock outrage,

"I'm lower than 7? McGee I thought I meant more to you than that!" Tim looked at him, stunned into silence before he realised he should say something,

"Tell you what you guess numbers and I'll tell you where you are." Tony nodded again, and Tim wondered how he would react once he found out he was number 1 on his speed dial. He couldn't really explain it himself; it was just something he had done automatically when setting up his new phone.

"Okay then... 6?" he looked at Tim as he shook his head,

"4?...2? ...5?" He continued guessing and finally Tim took pity on him.

"1" Tony froze and glanced at him,

"Huh?" Tim sighed, leaning back as far as he could without his head touching the seat again, his hand still holding the tie against the wound,

"You're number 1 Tony." Tony frowned,

"What about Gibbs?"

"Number 2." Tony looked at him again,

"You're actually serious?"

"Yes Tony, you're number 1, Gibbs is number 2... you're my partner, we hang out on weekends, I call you more often than I call Gibbs... it just made sense"

A smile spread over Tony's face then,

"Okay... so why's Brad there?"

Tim sighed,

"Obviously you remember having the plague..."

Tony shivered,

"Vaguely... that was the thing that made me cough yeah?" He joked, making Tim smile again,

"That would be the one." His face took on a more serious note as he explained,

"I... I knew the lasting effects of biological attacks; I looked at it as part of my biomedical engineering... it made sense for my career."

Tony nodded along, not interrupting,

"I pulled Brad aside one day when I went to visit you... asked about the complications that could occur... His main concern was if you got injured in the field and your lungs were compromised... with the scarring there was a chance..."

He took a deep breath,

"There was a chance a punctured lung or smoke inhalation... anything to do with your breathing... could mean your lungs shut down much quicker than someone else's... It also meant if you did get that type of injury you would need a doctor that knew your medical history. I asked for his number to put in my phone... just in case you know?"

Tony nodded in understanding, shooting him an unreadable look as he continued driving,

"Yeah... you were worried?" It sounded like a question, and Tim let out a humourless laugh,

"Of course I was worried! My partner had almost _died_ from a medieval disease, and now I was being told that if he was injured in the field – something that seemed to happen to him more frequently than any other agent – there was a chance he wouldn't stay alive long enough for an ambulance... I wasn't worried... I was terrified!... and then Kate..."

The last part was almost a sob as he got more emotional as his speech went on. The shaking was back now, and his breathing was speeding up again, becoming harsh and wheezing as his ribs flared at the rapid panicked intakes of air. Tony glanced at him worried,

"Breathe Tim... that's it... you need to stay calm alright..."

Tim felt the car rumble beneath him as Tony inched the accelerator down as he panicked. He took deep breaths, regulating his breathing back to a normal level and blinking back the tears that were only adding to his vision problems.

Once he was composed again he continued with his explanation,

"After that... there was nothing I could have done for her... I knew that... but then I began thinking, if you were injured... struggling to breathe... I wouldn't be able to do anything then either... I wouldn't know how... we didn't have time to help Kate, but if it ever came to that and I had time to help you... I wouldn't want to waste it because I didn't know how to help."

Tony shot him a confused and concerned look,

"So... what did you do?"

Tim looked right at him, catching his gaze before Tony's eyes flicked back to the road. Tim turned his head away and looked out the window,

"I... I asked Brad for a favour..." he trailed off not knowing how to put this,

"And..." Tony prompted. Tim turned back around seeing Tony looking at him every few seconds. He looked curious. Tim sighed,

"Every few months, when both of us can get a day off, we meet up... he gives me a specially designed first aid course, refreshing the knowledge each time... He teaches me how to... to make a temporary chest tube for if you puncture a lung, insert a breathing tube in your throat... just... just anything that could make it easier for you to breathe until we can get you help... I know Ducky could do all the same stuff but most of the time he's not in the field with us and..." Tim trailed off, realising he was rambling.

He turned so he was facing out the window again, feeling awkward at the sudden silence in the car, wincing as he twisted too fast and his ribs protested. He didn't know how Tony was going to react to his admission. He knew some people might consider it going slightly overboard, but Tony was his partner, and even before he started feeling this way about him, (not that he knew what this way was just yet), he hadn't been able to stand the thought of watching helplessly as Tony struggled to breathe in front of him. Having Brad on speed dial hadn't been enough, especially if Tony wouldn't have been able to hang on until they got him to the hospital.

The silence continued for a minute before Tony broke it,

"You... you've been doing this for years?" Tony's voice sounded as if he was trying to hold back emotion that was ready to burst out of him.

Tim turned so he was facing him again, nodding his head slightly, mindful of the wound and a slowly building headache,

"Well... yeah..."

Tony glanced at him again, his expression not so blank anymore; as Tim could see he was touched by the gesture, as he gave him a fond smile before turning his head back to face the road.

"So... if I get injured I should definitely come to you?" Tim smiled slightly,

"Definitely... I would appreciate it if you didn't get injured in the first place though."

"Seems kind of late to say 'same to you'... besides I don't know how to use a pen or whatever to get you to breathe if that did happen... you should definitely wait for a doctor on that front... unless you could teach me?"

Tim smiled slightly at that. He could hear the unspoken gratitude and emotion in Tony's tone.

"I could teach you... you could even use a pen if you want to."

Tony looked at him a slight smile on his face,

"Don't mock me McGee... I have no idea what kind of equipment you would use..." He paused as he turned to Tim again, the curious look returning,

"Not that I'm not grateful you care this much about keeping me alive... I really do..." He trailed off there for a moment,

"It.. it means a lot to me... not that I blame you, who wouldn't want me around?"

Tim let out a small laugh at the return of the joking he knew so well, earning him a small smile from Tony,

"But seriously... what were you planning to shove into my throat out in the field?"

"Well as you frequently remind me Tony, I was a boy scout... we always come prepared."

Again Tony glanced at him, frowning slightly,

"You've been carrying around that kind of stuff?"

Tim nodded,

"Remember when you helped me adapt my belt slightly, you know putting the concealed sheath for the knife in the back... that came in handy today by the way."

Tony's eyes widened as he looked at him,

"You stabbed them... Way to go Probie!"

Tim laughed again, still amazed at how relaxed Tony was able to make him feel,

"Scratched one of them Tony... I just needed a distraction to get to my gun, the knife wound made him back off..."

He trailed off as his mind threatened to drag him back there... _the feeling of desperation, the need to get away..._

"Tim?... You okay?"

He brought himself out of it, and smiled weakly at Tony,

"Yeah... fine... anyway, the belt." He saw the doubtful look Tony shot his way, and noticed as the car increased in speed again, but continued talking, allowing the new topic to calm him.

"I just added a few mini pocket style things on the inside of it... I always have a sterilised and sealed scalpel and plastic tube on me."

Tony looked at him again, before a slight smile came onto his face,

"What?" Tim asked. The smirk increased,

"You have the weirdest superhero utility belt ever."

Tim looked at him incredulously for a moment before he burst out laughing, ignoring the twinge it caused in his ribs. Only Tony.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey I want to apologise for the really long wait. At first it was a bad case of writer's block with this story, and then when I finally got back into it the laptop decided it and the internet were no longer friends. It's (fingers crossed) all fixed now though so updates will begin again. To make up for it this chapter is slightly longer than the previous ones.**

**On the bright side Christmas! I will not get much chance to write or update as I have an exam to revise for and all the Christmas family stuff to do but I have a McNozzo oneshot that's finished and will be up literally as soon as I've proof read it again, as well as the first chapter of the accompanying story for Exploding and Crushing.**

**Disclaimer: "I do own NCIS" ... were the words I said in a dream once before I woke in the real world where they aren't true.**

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><p>Tim stopped laughing as the pain in his ribs finally became too great to ignore. He took a few slow breaths hoping to calm the fire in his chest the moment of joy had produced.<p>

"Tim, you okay?" He waited a moment as the pain calmed to a dull ache before he replied,

"Fine..." He trailed off as Tony shot him a disbelieving look,

"Okay... my ribs are aching a bit." Tony glanced at him again,

"A bit?" He rolled his eyes, pausing as his vision swam with the movement,

"Okay a lot." Tony smiled slightly,

"I may not be a human lie detector like Ziva, but even I could see through that one McGee... how's the head Tim?"

Tim gingerly eased Tony's tie off of his skull and gently probed the wound with his fingers, hissing slightly at the pain the pressure caused.

"Tender?" Tony winced in sympathy.

"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure the bleeding's stopped." He pulled the tie completely away.

"Just keep the tie handy in case it starts up again."

Tim wanted to smile at the honest concern in Tony's voice. It wasn't often that Tony showed openly how much he cared. He knew he did, okay maybe not in the way Tim wanted him to care, but in a brotherly kind of way. He could live with that.

Tony glanced at him again, and Tim realised he had been trailing off into thoughts he should _not_ be entertaining while alone in the car with Tony, in a confused and emotional state, and with a head wound that was clouding his thought process...there was no telling what thoughts he would randomly let slip.

He smiled slightly to reassure Tony, before he closed his eyes. He just felt so tired. He felt like he just wanted to shut down and slip away, like all his energy seemed to. He felt emotions he had been trying to push down threaten to break out of him, the fear, the horror... he blinked back tears and shivered as the memories threatened to come flooding back.

He tried to focus on something, anything else. He listened to the thrum of the engine, felt the throbbing in his head and ribs... listened as Tony breathed. He focused on that, drew strength from it... Tony was here, he wasn't alone, Tony meant safety and protection, Tony would never hurt him, would try and stop anyone that tried. He remembered Tony holding his gun, looking as if he would kill the men on the spot, the sense of safety knowing how far Tony would go to protect him. He was safe.

He repeated those thoughts over and over, feeling the sudden tension and panic evaporate as Tony's mere presence relaxed him and made him feel secure. He froze for a moment at that thought; when had he become this dependent on Tony, this trusting of him? When they first met he had been nervous around Tony, and in his first few months, on the team had always been waiting for whatever prank or joke it was that Tony was going to pull next. Now though... Yes Tony still joked and pranked but he actually... looked forward to it? It brightened his day; Tony was one of the only people who he could relax completely around, who could make him smile and laugh without restraint, and he enjoyed the feeling of the uncontrollable laughter some of Tony's antics would bring. He looked forward to Tony's next prank because he actually fought back now, and the banter or prank wars that ensued always allowed him to just let loose the childish part of himself that he hadn't been able to indulge before, let him feel like he belonged.

But, even as the thought about it, he knew that this had been building up long before he had been an equal participant in the pranks and banter.

When Gibbs had said Tony tested positive, was dying, he felt like his whole world had shattered, his brain had frozen, unable to comprehend the idea that some dead disease was taking him away.

As he had stood by Kate's morgue draw, looking down at her body, just Tony being there had made the overwhelming, grief, sadness and guilt seem just that slightest bit more bearable.

In fact, now that he was focusing on his past reactions to Tony, rather than just the current ones, he realised Tony had been a main feature in his world for sometime... and that for almost as long he had liked, and welcomed him being in that role. When, those few years ago, they had been told the team was being split apart, that he was to remain in the yard while two of his partner's were sent off around the world... it had felt like the world had shattered all over again, as the one constant presence in his life was torn away. He hadn't known how to deal with it, who to talk to. Abby and Ducky were missing the team already, and talking to Gibbs would have only reminded his Boss how he hadn't managed to bring them back yet.

"Tim?" Opening his eyes was an effort, and that scared him, he was on the verge of passing out now that the adrenaline had completely worn off. He forced his eyes to remain open, blinking a few times to try and rid himself of the lethargic feeling. He turned to Tony, and saw the concern and slight relief in his eyes,

"Tim, I need you to stay awake for me okay?" Tim nodded, and he saw Tony give him a strained smile as he turned the wheel to pull them into the hospital,

"See, you need to stay conscious, you may have lost weight but I still don't think I could carry you in there."

Tim smiled slightly at the attempt at humour,

"Maybe you just need to work out more."

Tony smiled back at him, not even bothering to pretend to be offended, or hide his relief at Tim's increased level of awareness,

"Considering that goose egg on the back of your skull, I'll let you off of the head slap this time _Probie_, but just this once!"

Tim remembered not to roll his eyes this time and simply let his smile grow,

"So how long is this immunity going to last?"

He saw Tony's smile widen slightly, but the worry was still present,

"I'm not going to answer that, on the off chance that you'll remember even after your concussion wears off."

They pulled into a parking space surprisingly close to the hospital doors, and Tony turned to Tim, an indecisive look on his face,

"You want to try walk in or want me to go get a wheelchair?"

"Walk in."

Tim replied without hesitation, the idea of Tony leaving him alone freaked him out right now, he knew it was stupid to feel that way, he had a gun to protect himself if he needed it, but somehow he felt infinitely safer with Tony there. He had had a gun after the attack earlier after all, but hadn't felt the wave of relief flow through him until he had seen Tony standing by his side.

Tony looked at him and nodded, opening the door and sliding out, moving round the front of the car to Tim's side and opening the door. This time when he reached out to touch Tim there was no hesitation. Tim didn't comment, simply slipped his arm around Tony's shoulders once again, feeling the slight warmth fill him at the knowledge Tony was no longer afraid of reaching out to give him the support he needed, and maybe on some level, knew how implicitly he trusted him.

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><p>Even though Tony had managed to park them reasonably close to the hospital, Tim's waning energy and injuries meant they took a while to get there, Tony supporting and encouraging him all the way.<p>

Tim had to fight down a brief moment of panic when he went inside. The hospital was bright, and although this caused a pounding in his head, he welcomed the difference from the dimly lit alley. What panicked him was the number of people milling around. He _knew _none of them were trying to hurt him, but he couldn't help feeling uneasy at the thought of all the people walking up behind him, people he couldn't see coming.

Tony didn't say anything, but Tim was sure he noticed how he had tensed when a man rushed past, brushing against him as he went. Tim felt Tony's grip on him tighten reassuringly, and felt eternally grateful that as they were walking towards the desk Tony made sure to angle them so he stood between Tim and anyone coming past.

Tony immediately went to a nurse standing at the station. Tim guessed she was new as he hadn't seen her on any of his visits to Brad. She was pretty, blonde, and quite young and even in his state Tim felt his gut clench at the approving smile she was shooting towards Tony, as he beckoned her over. He felt bad almost instantly, he had no claim over Tony, and he _knew _that their relationship was never going to develop into anything other than of best friends, and possibly brothers.

Pushing back the small flare of resentment the woman sparked, Tim attempted to smile weakly at her while Tony took it upon himself to make their request.

"Hi, we're looking for Dr. Pitt? He said someone could take us to him when we got here?"

The nurse's gaze immediately turned professional as she swept the two of them over, eyes locking onto the supporting arm Tony had around McGee, as well as what Tim supposed were rapidly forming bruises on his face.

"Of course, he's set up in that exam room there." The nurse pointed to a door a few metres away, before looking the two of them over again.

"Do you two need any help? A wheelchair?"

Before Tim could respond Tony shook his head in the negative,

"No thanks..." Tony paused and obviously looked at the woman's name tag, " Janey, I've got him."

Before she could reply Tony had them turned slightly and was encouraging Tim along towards the door Janey had indicated. As they walked Tim caught the slightly disappointed, put out expression on the nurse's face, and had to stop himself from grinning. He frowned momentarily at the fact that Tony hadn't flirted with a woman so obviously showing interest... hell the fact Tony hadn't flirted with a woman with a pulse, but soon brushed that aside. Tony wouldn't waste time when one of his team was injured... the flirting would come later. The thought made him want to sigh, and he fervently hoped that he would be out of the way when that happened. He wanted to keep Tony oblivious to his feelings and if he began showing his jealousy then that plan would most definitely be ruined.

"Tim?" Damn it, Tony sounded worried, he had obviously zoned out with his thoughts again. He turned to smile slightly at Tony, seeing they were paused just outside the door,

"Sorry... just tired." It wasn't really a lie, the exhaustion had been building up, and now he was sure without Tony's arm he would have dropped to the floor, given up and gone to sleep. His answer seemed to satisfy his partner, as he reached forward and opened the door.

"I'm sure you can sleep soon buddy... just a little bit longer okay?"

Tim nodded absently as Tony gently steered him into the exam room, only fully snapping back to reality as he heard Brad's greeting.

"Hey Tim." He lifted his head up and saw Brad's eyes shoot to his jaw, yep, bruise definitely forming. He offered Brad an uneasy smile,

"Hey Brad, sorry to make you stay late." Brad let out a fond smile before he shook his head,

"It's not a problem Tim... what happened?" Tim glanced to Tony, knowing he was going to have to say it out loud again, and knowing that would make Tony tense once more.

He stayed silent until Tony helped him sit on the exam table, wincing as his ribs pulled. He felt a swell of gratitude and warmth as, even after he was no longer needed to support his weight, Tony stayed as close to him as possible, as if he was ready to defend him from any threat.

"I was on a date with a guy... I was walking back to the car when he dragged me into an alley... his friend turned up and they... they tried to... 'have some fun'" He broke off, looking at Brad to gauge his reaction. He saw the look of pure horror, but saw him relax slightly as he processed the wording.

"Tried to?" Tim nodded slightly in confirmation and saw the relief become more apparent.

"You knew Tim was Bi?" Tim turned to Tony confused; he thought he heard the slight hint of jealousy ... and possibly suspicion in Tony's voice. He almost wrote it off to wishful thinking again before he reasoned Tony was probably only upset that he had come to Brad before he came to him.

Tim saw Brad was shooting him a questioning look, wondering what he should say and that Tony was flicking his gaze between the two of them. Tim sighed, he just wanted to get the exam over with so he could sleep, but he knew Tony wouldn't let this go.

"An ex of mine from college turned up here once, he's navy now and when he saw me he panicked, didn't want me outing him and ruining his career."

Tim decided to leave he explanation at that, he was too tired for this. His eyes began to slide closed and he blinked blearily, barely registering it as he began to list to the side. He was saved by Tony reaching out and steadying him,

"Easy Tim, just a little longer remember?" Tony's voice was gentle now, and Tim nodded, and after a few more blinks managed to keep his eyes open.

Brad was looking at him concerned,

"You said you hit your head." Tim winced, at the memory,

"Yeah..." he shot a glance at Tony who was tensing up again. "There were a couple of punches that knocked it back into a wall."

He heard Tony growl and swear under his breath. Brad shot a look his way before looking back to Tim.

"Do you remember how many times?"

Tim thought back,

"About three?... I don't think it started bleeding until the last time though."

Brad nodded moving closer. Tim forced himself to calm down as his heart sped up slightly and his brain fought the urge to back away. This was Brad, his friend. He knew Brad. Brad was a good doctor, one that healed people, not harmed them. He had nothing to be afraid of.

"Any vision and balance problems?"

"I've felt kind of dizzy and Tony had to help me walk and stand... my sight began to get sort of blurry too."

Brad nodded thoughtfully, making notes on a chart he picked up from the side,

"Is that bad?" Tim glanced at Tony, seeing the tense set of his jaw and the worry in his eyes as they locked gazes for a moment. "I mean I've had concussions before, and had similar symptoms, but his seem sort of worse."

Brad smiled at him reassuringly,

"I can't be sure until I've taken a closer look, but it does sound like it is just a concussion. His balance problems are probably slightly more severe due to shock, and compounded by exhaustion."

Tim heard Tony release a breath of air after the reassurance, and smiled at him. The happiness and security his partner's concern filled him with quickly evaporated though.

Brad took a step closer, so he was almost right in front of Tim. Tim fought the suddenly present fight or flight instinct with all he had, tensing his muscles and forcing himself to remain still. Brad was looking down, trying to pull a penlight out of his pocket and so didn't see the moment Tim's eyes widened with fear before he forcibly made his body stand down. This was Brad his friend, this was not Mint or Dan; therefore he had nothing to be afraid of, _nothing._ He could do this.

By the time Brad looked up Tim had managed to plant a tentative smile on his face, hiding away the fear that was still pooling in his stomach, making him feel nauseous. There was also a slight amount of self loathing, he shouldn't feel this way, Brad had never been anything but kind and understanding, and he was the whole reason Tony was alive. Tim could never, ever repay him the debt he owed for that, and here he was comparing him to a possible serial rapist. What kind of person did that make him?

He tried to prepare himself as Brad reached forward, penlight in hand. He breathed, trying to keep it slow and even, but all he could focus on was the hand moving towards his face. He tried desperately to hold his panic in; Brad was a good man and did not deserve that reaction when he was only trying to help.

He thought he was managing... and then the penlight clicked on shining into his eyes. Instinctively he snapped them shut against the sudden light. Unfortunately Brad chose that moment to take hold of the un-bruised part of his jaw, in an attempt to tilt his head back towards him.

Not being able to see Brad and so remind his brain who it was touching him, Tim immediately flashed back to earlier; _the hand brushing up and down the side of his face, the revulsion, the realisation of what they were going to do, his eyes screwed shut to avoid it..._ It all hit him in a single moment, all the similarities and his body reacted on instinct.

He flinched and jerked back from the touch, giving out a strangled whimper as he automatically backed up, his body coming into contact with the wall of the exam room. This only served to make his breathing speed up even more; the similar feeling of his back against a wall with someone in front of him pushing another pulse of fear through his body. He let out another slight whimper as some bruises on his back he had previously been unaware of flared at the pressure he had unknowingly put on them.

He kept his eyes shut as he fought to push the memories back, tensing slightly when he felt two hands on his arms and felt someone close in front of him, only to relax when they began speaking,

"Tim? Come on buddy open your eyes for me." Letting his body unwind Tim did as he was asked, immediately locking gazes with Tony. He saw the worry, but also the reassurance, and familiarity.

"See, you're safe, I won't let anything happen to you alright?" Tony was murmuring to him gently, obviously trying to keep his voice low and non confrontational.

Tim nodded and blinked, still keeping his gaze fixed on Tony as he breathed deeply. Once he had got his breathing back to normal, he gave his partner a weary smile, glancing over his shoulder to see Brad, standing back at a respectful distance. Instantly he felt a wave of guilt for treating Brad like the enemy, and opened his mouth to apologise, but Tony stopped him.

"What did I tell you Tim? You have _absolutely nothing_ to be sorry for, do you understand me?" Tim avoided his eyes,

"But..." Tony purposely moved into his line of sight again, a firm grounding grip still on his arms as he forced Tim to look in his eyes and hold the gaze,

"_Nothing _Tim. It was a natural reaction, and _not your fault_. You're exhausted, confused, and your body knows it's too weak to defend itself again right now. _Instinct_, not you okay?" His eyes were fixed on Tim's, and Tim couldn't help but stare right back, shivering internally at the intensity of the way Tony's eyes bored into his own.

Tim nodded again, letting out a small sigh,

"Thanks Tony." That earned him a small smile,

"It's what partners do Tim; I've _always_ got your six."

Tony looked closely at him once more, probably making sure he had been heard, before he released one of his arms, turning to face Brad but still maintaining the comforting and supportive contact. Tim felt guilty again, as in the moment they had been sharing he had completely forgotten the other man was even in the room.

"Sorry Tim I shouldn't have..." Tim shook his head slightly in denial cutting off Brad's apology.

"It wasn't your fault... I'm just glad I went for flight rather than fight this time." Brad smirked at him slightly while Tony squeezed his arm,

"And _I'm_ very glad you went for fight back then." Tim looked at him and Tony shrugged,

"What? They deserved it... you knifed them right?" Tim had to grin slightly,

"Yeah, I knifed Mint... although it really wasn't much more than a scratch...It was far more satisfying kneeing Dan in the groin."

Tony grinned along, looking fiercely proud and pleased at what Tim was telling him, while Brad was just looking at him, still standing back so as not to spook him. Suddenly Tony frowned and looked at him,

"Wait... Mint?" Tim's lips quirked slightly,

"I didn't know his name and I needed something to refer to him to in my head... His breath was right in my face and it stunk, so 'Mint.'"

Tony frowned and tightened his grip slightly at the reminder of how close the man had been, but Tim was glad he seemed to find humour in the choice as well, as he smirked slightly. There was silence for a moment until Tim blinked heavily. Now he was no longer running on residual fear, he felt like he was crashing harder than before. Once again his body almost toppled and he had to be saved by Tony.

"Tim? You okay for Brad to keep looking at you?"

Opening his eyes he could see the worry had crept back into Tony's face. He nodded minutely, but couldn't help the small amount of fear that pulsed through him, multiplying as Tony moved his hand off his arm. He instinctively reached out and grabbed Tony's wrist to keep him close. Tony looked up at him and he quickly let go, turning his eyes away, slightly embarrassed, realising the trace of fear probably showed in his eyes.

He looked up in confusion when he felt Tony moving closer and nudging him.

"Move forward a bit Tim." He shuffled forward, assuming Tony was making it easier for Brad to examine him, and so his confusion only grew when Tony slipped up on the table beside him. Tim felt Tony shifting around, and soon he was sitting behind him, his legs on either side of Tim's hips and his chest aligned with Tim's back. Tim felt hands on his arms, gently tugging him so he fell backwards against Tony's chest. He felt safer than he had since the alley, the warmth and familiarity of the person pressed against him bringing a rush of security.

He tilted his head to look up at Tony gratefully, and to give him another tired smile,

"Thanks Tony."

He was rewarded with a bright smile from the other man,

"Like I said Tim, I've always got your six... besides someone needs to stop you falling off the table." Nodding in recognition, and appreciating Tony's attempt to lighten the situation, Tim turned back to face Brad, and offered him a hesitant smile.

"Is this okay?"

Brad was looking between the two of them questioningly before he seemed to shake off whatever it was confusing him, and smiled at Tim.

"It's fine whatever makes you comfortable, I can still check you out... It's mainly the ribs I'm worried about and you can lean forward for me if I need you to."

Something seemed to occur to Brad, and he opened his mouth as if he wanted to ask, but paused as if he wasn't sure how to go about it. Tim waited for the question feeling slightly uneasy. Tony seemed to pick up on his tension and soothingly rubbed his arm.

"Tim... It was a sexual assault right?" Tim nodded slightly and tensed as Brad seemed to hesitate again before he continued.

"I hate to ask but... is there any other... bruising." Tim realised what Brad was getting at and cringed, remembering the tight painful grip as a hand closed around him through his pants.

"There... there could be... it was tight and it hurt... a lot... but...I'm not sure."

He trailed off forcing his brain to not pull him back there, and taking deep breaths. He felt Tony's soothing motions pause for a moment as he listened and heard the hushed snarl before they continued.

"That's alright... It doesn't sound like there's serious damage to worry about but it will probably be painful for a while, especially when urinating... I could tell you more if we did an exam, but that's uncomfortable at the best of times and...It's probably best we avoid it if we can."

Tim had pushed back against Tony as he instantly retreated at the mention of an exam, but relaxed as Brad finished. Tim nodded in agreement knowing Brad understood his reasons. Tim felt Tony move to rub gently soothing circles in his back, and he relaxed into the touch.

Brad stepped forward to continue his exam, and Tim noticed how he was careful to stay in his line of sight as he moved. He tensed slightly when Brad hesitantly touched his jaw again, but quickly relaxed as Tony continued to rub his back and murmur comfort and reassurances.

"Easy Tim, I've got you... they can't touch you any more okay? Hell they've probably died of a heart attack by now, we've been in the car when Ziva's driving normally; imagine what she's like when she actually _tries_ to scare someone!"

Tim couldn't help but snort at Tony's comments, and with the feeling of security provided by Tony being right there with him, barely tensed any more on the occasions when Brad had to touch him.

As he relaxed even further, he drifted into a sort of dozing state between asleep and awake, his exhausted body doing its best to stay alert but failing. He barely registered as Brad lifted his shirt to check the bruising on his chest. He hissed and jerked slightly as his torso was probed, but even the flash of pain wasn't enough to wake him fully.

Eventually he just let his head fall back against Tony's shoulder, careful to turn sideways slightly to avoid the wound. He let out a contented sigh as Tony just wrapped an arm around his waist to make sure he didn't fall off. He allowed his eyes to slip shut completely, and didn't have the energy to open them even when he heard Tony begin talking.

"Tim, you still with us?" Tony sounded slightly worried again, and he wanted to reassure him. He hummed a small noise he hoped sounded like an affirmative, not having the strength to even attempt to talk.

"Brad just needs to take some photos of the bruises for evidence, and then check to see if your head needs any stitches okay?"

Tim simply nodded slightly, burrowing his head against Tony's shoulder so his face was tucked against his neck. He couldn't help but notice Tony's scent when he breathed, it was pleasant and familiar, and he couldn't help but compare it to the sweaty unpleasant smell he associated with his attackers. While their scent had brought disgust and fear, Tony smelled... like home, warm, inviting, comforting. He really liked the way Tony smelled. Distantly he realised he probably shouldn't be thinking these things when he already had a massive crush on his partner, and was lying in his arms; right now though he couldn't be bothered to care, and simply revelled in the contact.

He was vaguely aware of Brad moving around and the flash of a camera, flinching once as it flashed right near his eyes. He was vaguely aware of some distant murmuring, and felt Tony's chest vibrate slightly against his back as he talked. He didn't bother to try and distinguish the words, until Tony's voice came from right next to his ear,

"Tim? I need you to lean forward a bit so Brad can check your head and bandage your ribs okay?"

Tim slowly lifted his head, and blinked his eyes open, sleepily locking gazes with Tony.

"Hey." Tony grinned slightly at him, "You can sleep real soon okay?"

Tim nodded to show he understood, and with a massive effort moved his body so he was angled forward. Tony kept a steadying arm around his waist, as he felt Brad wrapping bandages around his chest.

"You've cracked a couple of ribs Tim, but although it will be painful for a while there probably won't be any major complications. There will be some pretty extensive bruising beginning to show up in the next few hours though- on your face too. Just try to avoid putting pressure on your chest, or doing any heavy lifting alright?"

Tim nodded weakly to show he'd heard what Brad was saying. He tilted his head forward as Brad guided it down gently with his hands. There was a brief pause as Brad looked the wound over. Tim flinched and hissed again slightly when gloved fingers began carefully probing the area, causing the arm around his waist to tighten slightly, in what he guessed was supposed to be reassurance and sympathy.

"Sorry Tim..." The hands disappeared.

"The good news is you only have a mild concussion, and I agree the wound has stopped bleeding, I'm going to clean it up and take a closer look, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't need stitches either."

Tim sighed in relief, but Tony seemed to have a problem,

"And the bad news?" Tony sounded apprehensive, but on opening his eyes Tim saw Brad give him a reassuring smile, and he felt the suddenly tense muscles in Tony's arm relax slightly.

"He's not going to get a solid sleep for a while; he needs to be woken at least every other hour."

Brad grinned at Tim slightly,

"We can check you in here... The nurses that you've met on your visits love you; I think a couple would even marry you on the spot, so getting them to check in on you shouldn't be a problem."

Tim thought he felt Tony's arm tighten around him slightly in reaction to Brad's words, but brushed it off as him simply shifting positions, after all, why would Tony care about what Brad had said?

"I can do it."

Tony's voice came hurriedly from behind him, and he saw Brad raise his eyebrows slightly, presumably looking at Tony. Tim watched as he was silent for a moment before he nodded to himself and his lips quirked slightly... almost as if some question had been answered. What was going on? His brain was too tired for this kind of mystery right now, so he didn't bother even trying... if something important was going on with Tony he was sure he would realise eventually.

"He can come home with me." Tony continued.

"I have plenty of space and can check on him, wake him up... anything that needs doing."

Brad seemed to think for a moment,

"That would be a better option... That okay with you Tim?"

Tim nodded, he had been to Tony's apartment plenty of times; their guy's nights had become more frequent over the years, and he had regularly slept over, so he was sure he would feel comfortable there.

"Yeah I'd like that... as long as you don't mind Tony?"

"If your head wasn't already mildly concussed you would be receiving one hell of a head slap right now... what did I say about partners Tim?"

Tim grinned slightly,

"Got it... thanks Tony."

The arm around his waist squeezed briefly in a sort of hug.

"No problem."

As they had been talking Brad had moved away and collected some antiseptic and gauze so he could clean Tim's head wound. He winced slightly as the liquid soaked in and stung, and hissed as Brad dabbed the gauze over, probably to remove the blood. He winced again as he felt the pressure of a gauze pad being applied. Soon though it was done, and he sighed in relief slightly as Brad moved away.

"I was right." Brad informed them as he moved back, snapping off the stained gloves, and throwing them and the bloodied gauze pad away,

"It bled a lot, but head wounds always do, and it's not large enough to need stitches, so I've just put a small piece of gauze there for now. If it starts bleeding heavily again bring him back... or take him to Dr. Mallard, but it should be fine."

Tim heard Tony give a small sigh of relief, and let out a small smile of his own at the news, and at the further evidence of his partner's genuine concern.

"That being said, you'll need at least a day at home to sleep and recover from the shock and exhaustion; take two if you can make yourself, and about a week or two on desk duty after that to give your ribs time to heal."

He groaned quietly, but when Brad shot a glare at him resigned himself to his fate. He heard Tony give a small chuckle at his reaction.

"We've all been there Tim- sucks but doctor's orders... what can you do?"

Tim smiled slightly as he gave up trying to keep himself upright and leaned back onto Tony again, closing his eyes and putting his cheek against Tony's shoulder.

"I don't know" he mumbled, "same as you probably... listen for a few hours, complain for a few more, spend about a day pushing the envelope to see what I can get away with, before finally giving up all pretence and completely ignoring everything I've been told."

Tim smiled as he felt Tony's suppressed laughter reverberating through his chest, before Tony started speaking, in an obviously faked innocent tone, and figured Brad was probably glaring at Tony for his poor example setting.

"I would never, honest Dr. Pitt, I listen to what all of my doctors tell me, I swear... Tim what happened to never screw over your partner?"

The last part was said in a stage whisper, and Tim couldn't help but snort at Tony's antics.

"It's not exactly a secret Tony, everyone knows you do it" He mumbled against Tony's neck, "Besides, I won't be following your pattern anyway... I plan to sleep for a whole day first so I'll be about 24 hours behind."

He felt Tony start laughing again, before he abruptly cut off,

"I mean I will take great care to ensure that doesn't happen Dr. Pitt."

Tim grinned to himself. He felt completely at ease now listening to Tony's familiar sense of humour, and for the first time in the last couple of hours he knew he really would be okay; that he would move past this... after all, he had Very Special Agent Tony DiNozzo to watch his six while he did.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey I am so sorry about the long wait but here is the next chapter, Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and stuck with this so far.**

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><p>Brad had left for a few minutes to grab him some pills he wanted him to have from the pharmacy. Tim knew there was a problem with painkillers he should be remembering, especially if he was going home with Tony, but he was just so tired, he couldn't quite think of it.<p>

He also knew that he should probably try to stay awake; he still had to get out of the hospital and back to Tony's car. But again... he was just so tired. As if he had read his mind Tony was suddenly speaking in his ear.

"Tim you still awake?"

Tim nodded his head slightly, feeling his nose brushing against the warm skin of Tony's neck with the movement. He was pressed up against Tony still, his face resting sideways on his shoulder while his body moulded itself to rest against Tony's chest. He could feel Tony's arm hanging loosely around his waist, his hand resting on his hip. He sighed in contentment and found himself beginning to drift. He heard Tony chuckle lightly.

"Do you reckon you'll be able to stay awake or am I just too good as a pillow?"

Tim simply sighed again and shifted his head slightly in reply. He felt Tony's laughter vibrate through his chest at his actions.

"I'll take that as a compliment to my comfortableness shall I?"

Tim gave a non committal grunt in reply.

"Yep, that's me Very Special Agent Tony DiNozzo, crack marksman, movie expert, and pillow extraordinaire."

Tim chuckled, blinking his eyes trying to bring some awareness back.

"You forgot humble." Tony laughed.

"Joke all you want Tim but it's the truth... I could have listed hundreds more brilliant qualities I posses, but I chose not to. See? humble."

Tim snorted.

"Whatever you say Tony."

With the increased alertness came the awareness that he had been pressed closely against his male partner that he was secretly more-than-crushing on, for a while now, and that he was enjoying it as much as anyone would in that situation, but also that it felt right... natural to rest in Tony's arms.

That right there set off warning bells in his head. He wanted to keep Tony as a friend... he couldn't keep thinking like this. Eventually he would become too comfortable and relaxed, let his guard down and do something that would drive Tony away. He would blurt something out or... Crap.

"Tim?"

He mentally cursed himself for pulling away and tensing up as his thoughts progressed. Tony would now be demanding an answer.

"Tim, you okay?" Sometimes he hated it when he was right.

"Yeah Tony I'm fine."

He heard Tony's scepticism in the silence and was inclined to agree, did he always sound that unconvincing when he lied?

"Uh huh"

Tim sighed,

"It's nothing, don't worry about it."

He felt Tony tense suddenly after a moment,

"This is still okay right, me sitting here, it's not bothering you or anything?"

Tony sounded panicked and was still tensed as if ready to move at any second, and Tim hastened to reassure him.

"No! No Tony its fine, that's not what's bothering me."

He felt Tony relax behind him and could have sighed in relief... until Tony spoke.

"So you admit something is bothering you."

Tim groaned cursing his verbal slip and mentally head slapping himself for it as he laid his head back down against Tony's shoulder. He knew Tony wasn't going to let this go, and if he kept him in the dark it would just keep making him press for information. Besides he could tell him what was worrying him, just not the reason why it was such a big deal.

"I just... Painkillers tend to make me kind of... loopy."

He could almost feel Tony's frown.

"No they don't."

Tony sounded confused.

"They kind of do, I'm probably worse than you are to be honest."

"How come I've never noticed this before?"

Tim sighed against Tony's neck, feeling some of his warm breath rebound off of Tony's skin and blow back into his face, before he straightened so he wouldn't fall asleep while they were talking like he wanted to.

"You've never seen me on any pain meds apart from some mild headache tablets Tony."

Tony sounded very confused now,

"I must have done... what about when you dislocated your shoulder?"

Tim shook his head,

"We were the only two at the hospital after Gibbs and Ziva dropped us off and we needed to get back. I had my arm in a sling and couldn't drive even if we had a car. You were really out of it and one of us needed to be lucid enough to get a taxi back to the yard, so I turned them down when the doctor offered."

Tony seemed to contemplate that for a moment before he gave a sincere.

"Thanks Tim."

Tim shrugged and twisted his head to look at him, giving a small tired smile,

"Partners right?" Tony gave him a bright smile in return, one that lit up his eyes and made Tim's pulse quicken slightly.

"Right."

Tim turned back around and leaned his head against Tony's shoulder once more, closing his eyes and relaxing. There was silence for a moment before Tony broke it.

"What about when the dog attacked you?"

Tim sighed and opened his eyes.

"I had to drive myself and the dog back to the yard so Ducky only gave me something mild to take the edge off."

Tony seemed to take a moment to let that sink in.

"But you went to the infirmary after that right?"

Tim nodded in agreement, his head brushing against Tony's shoulder.

"Yeah, I needed a tetanus shot and some antibiotics."

"And they didn't give you anything for the pain?"

"They gave me a prescription, Palmer went to get it filled while Ducky gave me another look over."

"So I must have seen you on pain meds."

Tim sighed and shifted uncomfortably,

"Uh not... not exactly."

He could feel the question and confusion coming from Tony and sighed. Today was not his day.

"I didn't take them." He mumbled against Tony's neck.

"What?" He winced at the slight reprimand in the tone.

"I didn't take them."

"Tim..." He hurried to explain himself.

"The pain really wasn't that bad Tony, and besides Gibbs wanted me to go over the footage, I couldn't do that if I was on the meds, I'm too easily distracted, I can't focus. My job needed doing and I couldn't afford to miss something because my head wasn't clear."

"The pain wasn't that bad? A dog tried to rip you apart and you didn't take anything? I know I try to avoid the meds but Jesus Tim I take some of the recommended doses!"

He could hear the incredulity in Tony's voice and closed his eyes. Tony was right; it had hurt, but he had pushed the pain back and got on with it.

"I took some when I got home." He defended himself.

Tony snorted.

"Yeah? How many?"

Tim paused, and heard as Tony snorted.

"That's what I thought."

"I took one dose." He defended himself half heartedly. He could feel the scepticism almost rolling off Tony, and he relented.

"Okay, I took one pill."

"Yeah and I bet that made a whole lot of difference." The sarcasm was clear and Tim sighed.

"It was enough to let me sleep and that's all I needed. Can we drop this please?"

Tony obviously heard the underlying exhaustion in his tone and didn't say anything for a moment. Tim closed his eyes again, shifting slightly against Tony until he was comfortable. He smiled slightly as Tony's arm tightened slightly while he was moving, relaxing once more when he was settled.

Tony broke the silence a few seconds later.

"Just so you know, I'm personally making sure you take some pills this time okay?"

Tim tensed in momentary panic. Warning lights flashed in his head. He tended to also become... talkative when on pills. He could spill anything... specifically the fact that he was in... that he had a crush on Tony.

He ignored his mental stumble, he didn't know what he had almost said instead, because all this was, was a crush. A very serious crush.

He needed this to just be a crush. He could deal with that. A crush would go away eventually. He could ignore it and not lose the most important person... _one_ of the most important people in his life. That's all Tony was, one of them. He had a sister, his sister was definitely more important to him than Tony and so were... other people. Absolutely. It was just a crush it would go away and Tony could go back to being the annoying, cocky danger magnet, who was undoubtedly the best friend he had ever had.

"Tim?" He really needed to stop spacing out.

"Yeah Tony I'll take the pills." He said in a resigned voice.

It would be nice to get rid of the ache, and occasional flares of pain in his side, head, and the throbbing that was starting in his jaw. Besides, with how exhausted he felt he would probably sleep most of the time anyway, so there was very little chance of him accidentally blurting something out.

"I didn't think that was in question when the medical professional had said that was the case?"

Tim looked up and offered Brad a small smile as he walked back into the room, a small plastic container in his hand.

"Of course not."

"Good, otherwise I will check you in and not let you make your escape with your partner in crime here."

"Partner in crime _solving_!" Tony piped in, and Brad raised an eyebrow,

"If doctors' orders were law I'm pretty sure my description is more accurate."

"You do realise in that analogy you basically described this place as a prison right?"

Tony pointed out and Tim snorted at the comment even as he felt his eyelids begin to droop.

"Yeah well I'm a good doctor and I like to talk to my patients in terms they understand." Tim peeled his eyes open and looked at Brad, who had a slight smirk on his face.

"So Tim, I'm offering you a deal, take the meds and you can walk out of here on bail. I'll assign Doctor Mallard to be your..."

"Parole officer?" Tony added helpfully, his laughter vibrating against Tim's back.

"And he can send you back here any time he sees fit understand?"

Tim nodded his eyes beginning to slip closed again. Evidently Brad saw this and his smile turned into a frown.

"Tim? How about we give you your first dose and Tony can take you home?"

"Uh... could I wait until we got to Tony's apartment... or even to the car?"

Brad frowned at him again, and he heard Tony sigh against his back,

"It won't be that bad Tim, just take them now, I know you're in pain."

Tim grimaced as the pain in his head and chest spiked in response to Tony's words, but shook his head adamantly, resolutely ignoring the stab of pain and swirling vision that caused.

Tim watched as Brad raised an eyebrow at the both of them, and left it to Tony to explain, as he closed his eyes and leaned back again. He was just so tired.

"Apparently pills make him a bit... funny." Tim snorted and cracked his eyes slightly, meting Brad's questioning gaze.

"There's no 'a bit' about it... I go completely loopy." He informed them.

"Good to know." Brad grinned slightly. "Unfortunately that does happen to some people... How bad is it?"

Tim felt Tony tense in anticipation of the answer too,

"Pretty bad... I'm worse than Tony, who once while on meds informed me that his fingers were 'finging'."

Brad looked between the two of them as Tony hissed

"Tim" and Tim chuckled at the memory.

"What it's true. I wish I had recorded it." He added wistfully as he closed his eyes once more, just for a second...

"Tim? Come on stay awake for me."

"Huh?" He groaned.

"You were drifting off on us Probie... to be honest I'm offended, I take it as a personal insult to my conversational skills."

The words were light-hearted but Tim had worked with Tony for years and could pick up the underlying worry in the tone. He blinked his eyes deliberately, trying to force them to stay open while urging his sluggish brain to just think of a response to reassure Tony he was still okay.

"So... we agree conversationalist isn't one of your brilliant qualities?"

"Hey!" Tim wondered if Tony realised how badly he failed at sounding offended when the relief was that evident in his tone.

"Brilliant qualities?" Tim smirked slightly at Brad's raised eyebrow before doing his best to look serious.

"Of course, he has a list if you're interested... Please don't be interested."

He closed his eyes again and shifted against Tony, smiling slightly at the snort he heard from Brad and another mock indignant "Hey!" from Tony.

There was silence for a second as Tim couldn't think of anything else to say. Letting himself drift momentarily it had just occurred to him they should probably start to move before he fell asleep and was forced to stay at the hospital overnight. He had just resigned himself to the fact that this meant he was going to have to actually support his weight with his aching muscles, when he felt something vibrate in his pocket.

He blinked his eyes open in confusion desperately trying to make his brain just think for a moment. As if sensing his predicament a quiet voice from behind him supplied the answer his mind had been refusing to give him,

"Phone Tim, it's in your pocket remember?"

He inclined his head slightly in acknowledgment before fumbling with his trembling hands to retrieve the device. Clearing his blurry vision he read the display. The name served to wake him slightly further. Abby. Crap.

He debated momentarily about ignoring the call, but realised that wasn't an option. If he failed to answer his phone Abby would worry, which almost always led to her doing something drastic, or she would go to Gibbs... who to stop her worrying and coming up with some scenario worse than what actually happened, would be forced to explain the situation. Either way she was going to find out and he would rather it came from him.

He was grateful as he felt Tony rub his back in support and saw Brad offer him an encouraging smile before leaving the room, as he lifted the phone towards his ear and hit answer.

"Tim, Oh my God I was getting worried! Your date should have ended and you promised you would call me! I would have called earlier but I thought that me calling you could get in the way of you calling me and..."

Tim couldn't help but laugh at the sheer normalcy and energy pouring out of the phone, but regretted it as shifting his ribs caused another flare. He let out a gasp, and winced as both the rubbing on his back and the monologue on the other end of the line paused.

"Tim? You're okay right?"

He sighed,

"Yeah Abby I'm fine."

He closed his eyes and once more leant on Tony, realising he would probably need the majority of his pitiful supply of energy to have this conversation. He quirked his lips slightly in a small smile as he felt Tony give his waist another small squeeze in reassurance.

"Are you sure? You sound tired and... pained?"

He sighed, he should have known Abby would know him to well to buy that. He winced as he heard her continue talking.

"Your date wasn't that bad was it? Or did it just not solve the problem? Not that I think it's a problem but you do. I told you it probably wasn't going to work but..."

He cut Abby off praying that Tony either hadn't heard or would forget about what Abby had said.

"No Abbs, that's not it I... remember I texted you saying I thought something was... off and wondering why you picked him?"

He could almost see her nodding along as he talked.

"Yeah... why McGee what happened... was he not interested or...?"

She trailed off and he screwed his eyes tighter shut.

"That's not it Abbs, he... he was slightly too interested, but I dealt with it Abby okay? I just have a couple of bruises alright?"

He rushed to get the last part out so she wouldn't worry as much.

"He tried to... oh my god Tim I'm so sorry..."

He quickly cut her off again just knowing she would blame herself.

"Abby! Abby it's not your fault... It's not anybody's fault, you got that?"

"But Tim he tried to..."

"Yeah Abby, _tried_ to." He stressed the word. "I dealt with it... and now Gibbs and Ziva are dealing with it."

That made her pause, and he heard her taking deep breaths over the line. He felt Tony shifting round behind him, and opened his eyes looking up at him curiously. He was pulling out his phone, mouthing the word 'Ducky' and pointing to Tim's phone. Tim nodded in agreement, Abby would not want to stay at home, would probably insist on coming to see him, and she was in no condition to drive.

Sure enough the next words out of her mouth were,

"Where are you right now?"

He leaned back against Tony again and closed his eyes, feeling himself coming closer to sleep again, Tony's rising and falling chest and murmuring into the phone serving to soothe him...

"Tim?" The panic was evident again instead of the forced calm from moments ago and he rushed to reassure her.

"Sorry zoned out... I'm at Bethesda with Tony... but you don't need to come here." He pre-empted her question. "Like I said I just have a few bruises, they're letting me go home with Tony in a minute."

He silently thanked Tony for allowing him to stay at his place. Abby would have panicked ten times more if he had told her he was being admitted over night.

"I'll meet you there... " He was about to object and tell her Ducky would probably be there to drive her in the next half hour when she suddenly cut him off "hold on."

Her voice muffled for a moment and he heard her moving towards the door before opening it and saying "Ducky?" Tim opened his eyes and looked up at Tony quirking an eyebrow slightly, He simply shrugged with the shoulder Tim wasn't using as a pillow and mouthed 'Gibbs' as if that should explain everything. To be honest, it actually did.


End file.
